1815 Naismith Drive, Oliver Hall Lawrence, Kansas 66045

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1815 Naismith Drive, Oliver Hall
Lawrence, Kansas 66045
15 March, 2013

Dear Mackenzie,

Writing project two created quite the experience for me. Researching this topic caused many ups and downs. I experienced emotions ranging from fury to understanding more about myself. From the beginning of this writing assignment I had a clear objective; to prove Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a good thing. However, in researching the topic, the information I found, caused my paper to take a whole new direction in how I took on proving ADHD is a good thing on three Separate occasions. All, I could find was information stating the negatives of ADHD telling me bullshit like I cannot hold relationships, have no or only one friend, and portraying people with ADHD as difficult people who are losers. This enraged me and set the path for my paper to not only show how ADHD is a positive attribute, but also prove all that bullshit invalid in the process.

For writing project four I choose to revise this essay and then create a website from it to try and better prove my point by exploring different media and a better written essay to do it with. Items in my essay I chose to revise include sentence revisions, citations, and cutting content in some areas and expanding in others.

I wrote five sentences that need revisions. The sentences are awkward and sound weird when reading. By fixing them my paper will flow better, and there will be no awkward pauses when reading it where you have to take a second and go “what” and then reread the sentence to figure out what I am trying to say.

Next, I will fix my citations because I falsely cited information. I found information from one source, but then lost the source I got it from. I found the same information on Wikipedia, but I did not want to cite Wikipedia because I thought you could not or if I did it would look bad. As the clock wound down and the due date time was approaching I panicked and I gave the author of another source I used on the same topic the credit for all of the information even though it was not all his. This is illegal and highly unethical.

My final revisions to this paper will include cutting content in some areas and expanding in others. By cutting out some information regarding Michael Phelps, I will stay closer to the point I am proving, and also create more room to expand in other areas while keeping a six page maximum. I gave a long list of all of his accomplishments because I wanted to show how much he did achieve and I thought that by stating all of this it will drive my point home that people with ADHD can accomplish anything and be extremely successful. However, the list of his accomplishments gets long, and I do not have to list everything to give you the idea of how amazing all it is.

In, one of my early paragraphs I stated how ADHD gave me a lot to struggle with as a child, and it still does today. I gave a sentence saying that when I was younger I was always getting in trouble and I was not able to handle my ADHD or myself. However, that is all I said. I plan to add more providing a window into what ADHD presented me with as a child, and how I am still dealing with it today. I originally refrained from doing this because I did not want to get that personal in my essay especially for an idea that does not necessarily help prove my point.

By creating a website out of my paper I feel I organized and summed up the information, from my paper, in a way that you can pick and choose what you want to take from it without having to read my paper in its entirety. Since, having to cut my long list of Michael Phelps’s achievements in my paper I created a link within the text about him to a Wikipedia page (not where I found my information for my paper, but has all of the same information) which further shows his achievements. Also, I provided links to all of my sources with either links to the website were the information can be found or to my notes with all the information I used in my paper highlighted so it can be easily sorted out.

This past semester of English has been interesting and fun. I have never encountered a teacher quite like you before. Your honesty, openness, and bluntness is refreshing and I enjoyed and looked forward to class (even though I missed so many). I never experienced that feeling before for an English class except my senior year English class whose teacher I loved, and all we did was watch Hercules and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. You were extremely encouraging near the end when I was hitting my breaking point. I hope I encounter more teachers like you during my stay at KU. I wish you the best of luck as a grad student and with writing you book.

Best Regards,
Eric Pincus

P.S. My doctor does not have a scanner in his office, so he just emailed you the note and added that if you need further documentation that he could mail it to you.

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